The First Time

Not "the first time", the first time I ever saw his face. ("The first time" is another story for another day).

I went shopping the day before our first, "blind", date. Several stores and three tops later, I think I was ready. I wanted casual, but not sloppy. Sexy but not slutty. I like to call it "accidentally sexy". It's a look I have worked on for years, though not sure I've perfected it. I got my eyebrows waxed. Got a manicure. Shaved every part of my body that demanded attention. Straightened my hair. Powdered my nose, glossed my lips. Repeat.

My sister came over to watch the kids and I left a little early to go my Bev's for her approval, plus, we had talked about having a drink to ensure calmed nerves. I was not a drinker. But when I got there, she and her boyfriend were fighting. No checking for approval. No drink. Applied more lip gloss and hit the road.

My eye started to hurt on the drive over (we agreed to meet at the movies. I wasn't talking any chances with any possible psychos). I tried to rub without rubbing off my makeup. At a light, I finally had to pull my contact out of my eye and drive with one hand over my eye. On my drive I thought "I hope he's cute. I hope I get laid".

I got there early and he was running late. Prior to this, he had asked me not to wear tall shoes because he was short. And he said he would be the one with the big butt. I calmly said ok because I didn't want to hurt his feelings by reacting, in case it was true. I hoped he was kidding but couldn't be sure. Yahoo personals didn't have criteria for "bigger than normal ass". I was losing patience and nerve so I called him. He was parking. As he was walking up, I tried to tell him where I was standing and he said "Do a jumping jack". I cringed. I am not a jumper. I half hearted made jumping jack arm motions. He walked up.

Across the (large) meeting area at the theatre, I could only stand there while he walked up. I hoped not to look fat. I tried not to make a retarded face. I took him all in. His jeans, his two shirts, his facial hair. I thought...."yes. He's the one."

We shook hands and got in line. I purposely stood behind him a bit. He got us some popcorn but neither of us ate very much. I didn't want to make all that crunching noise and plus, popcorn makes me burp sometimes. The armrest wasn't big enough for the both of us and I let my arm sit next to his for a while, taking in his warmth. He never tried to hold my hand or touch me in any way. Or even look my way for that matter. I held my hand over my contactless eye through the whole movie. I was getting a headache.

The movie was "The Heartbreak Kid". It had alot of lewdness. He laughed alot and I closed my eyes and shook my head alot. Later, he said he thought I would get up and walk out. While sitting next to him, I fantasized about kissing him. About climbing into his lap, on top of him.

Afterwards, he asked me to dinner. I ordered a salad and he made fun of me (I ate alot of salads in those days. Dieting). We talked a little about ourselves. I felt that I would never see him again. I tried to calculate if I had enough time to seduce him.

Afterwards, he walked me to my car. He did not hold my hand, did not touch me. He said "well...give me a hug" so I did. He said some double entendre unintentionally and I said "let's go" but we did nothing. He asked when I was available this week and I rattled off my schedule (busy alot with soccer and school) while he tried to take it all in. He asked me out for Wednesday and I agreed. I drove off happy. Until I stopped at Walgreens to put my contact back in but it tore, I couldn't see and accidentally went the wrong way and got lost.

I eventually got home and ate something because I was starving. I laid in bed wondering what more there was to him, wondered how long it would be before we just stopped talking because he was just like all the other losers. Wondered how I could be happy that he never touched me or made a pass when all I wanted was to wrap my legs around him.

Next week is our one year anniversary of that date. I still wonder what more there is to him. I love him for not being like the other losers. I still love to wrap my legs around him.