The next level

I've been waiting for a moment to gather my thoughts and put them here. But I've also been a little scared to come here again. The last time I wrote, a month ago....I was on the verge of saying goodbye. Goodbye to whatever silly hopes or ideas I had for us. I wasn't sure if somewhere along the road, maybe you had a change of opinion about me/us. Or maybe, I was wrong to think that your and my goals were the same at all. In any case, even though my title for my last blog was "Foggy" - I was afraid that I was seeing things clearly for the first time - and it hurt.

But whatever was happening....or NOT happening....I can only say what I THOUGHT about it, or how I FELT about it. I can't say what was going on in your mind. I don't know EXACTLY what you think or why you seem distant at times. If there are ever doubts in your mind, I wouldn't know. If there were ever something in me that you didn't like about ME, I wouldn't know. (Which is a mixed blessing, I assure you.)

I can't remember if I did a "good" job letting you know what was going on with me. But I do remember that you came to me. Instead of pushing me away or ignoring me or anything like that, you CAME to me. You loved me.

After that, all the little efforts you made were noticeable. I physically felt everything between us open up. Its like every little need I had, you gently took care of it.

I felt love for you - a new love. A more mature and powerful love. You filled me up with security and peacefulness....that later, when you got busy with work and school again, all those doubts and insecurities felt a million miles away.

I hope you are enjoying us too....and more than anything, I hope we can always have this. Forever.

In my whole life, I've never had a man take care of me. I mean emotionally. I don't think they knew how, not even my father. I had long since given up, but still something I missed.....

Till now.